It’s been a while since I wrote here the last time. Almost a year. What now? I’m not sure. Have I grown up? Have I changed? Maybe a little…ok…a lot! But still, does it mean I don’t deserve to be happy? I don’t deserve to love? Ok… we’re coming to same point where I left…almost a year ago…
No, I’m not the same person I used to be. Life has kicked me many times… It took away from me people who I loved, cared…
But now I don’t need all this sweet-making-me-sick-love.
No,now all I need is to calm down and relax. I need to think about my moves, my aims, goals…my destiny and for surethere is no place for love in it.
Does this make me a bad person? It’s not that I’m juust thinkg about myself its rather thinking about the consequences of my choices and I’m allowed to make them on my own…
For now thats all, but I’m sure I will write more…
Yes… Much more. 😉

No

-Please lie…lie just this one, last time…

-What for?

-So I can talk to you…

-Without my lies you can’t?

-No…

-Why not?

-Because it hurts too much…

Wonderland

I’m not Snow White, but I’m lost inside this forest
I’m not Red Riding Hood, but I think the wolves have got me
Don’t want those stilettos, I’m not, not Cinderella
I don’t need a knight, so baby, take off all your armor

You be the Beast and I’ll be the Beauty-beauty
Who needs true love as long as you love me truly
I want it all, but I want you more
Will you wake me up, boy, if I bite your poison apple

When we are small all we dream about is becoming a princess just like the Disney princesses, but time passes and finally one day, we know that princesses exist only in fairytales and apparently we are not in one of them.

But deeply every one of us is dreaming about prince charming on a white horse, we want to feel like someone special…

When life kicks us, we kick it back and we become stronger and stronger and the little princess goes deeper and deeper into our minds and one day she just vanishes…

Does she ever come back?

Sometimes yes, sometimes no…

Why?

Because we simply don’t allow her to do that and if we ever do, then we may regret it…

But we have to remember that she is in every one of us and it’s up to us whether we let her out or let her die inside…

No…

Please don’t make me go through this again…

You are a closed chapter…

I don’t need no more tears…

No more sleepless nights…

I don’t want your eyes followin’ me…

I don’t want your lips on my lips…

I don’t want you anymore…

Is it so hard to understand?!…

You almost killed me…

Just pretend I don’t exist…

But…

It’s been five loooong days since I wrote here for the last time…

I don’t think that you actually know about me much. How could that be possible when I just write about plain feelings, but I mix fiction with reality.

I don’t even know if you read this…if this is interesting for you…

Weird…ain’t it?

At first I wrote  just for the plain fact of writing but now…

But now I want something more…

But what?…

 

Not now

When I look at you everything returns. Our laughs, our happiness, our plans, our love. But everything is gone and it just simply disappeared with your single ,,I’m leaving”…

I used to cry myself to sleep, now I don’t have to do that anymore…

I used to be scared, now I’m not…

I used to miss you, now I don’t feel that…

I used to need you,now I can manage on my own…

I used to love you… now I don’t even remember you existed…

 

Not this time…

–Are you proud of yourself?

–Why should I?

–Well, you have achieved your goal, even though you have destroyed everything else. Was it worth it?

–Yes…

–Are you sure?

–Yes…no…

–Thought so…

–What are you doin’?

–I’m leavin’…

–No! Don’t do that!

–Why not?

–I love you…

–But you have already left me…

–No…

–Yes. And now I’m doing the same.

–But I love you! Doesn’t this mean anything to you?

–Now?…No, not really.

–Why are you bein’ so cold? I know you love me!

–I loved you.

–No, you still do!

–Keep tellin’ this yourself, but it won’t do you any good.

–Stay!

–You didn’t. When I needed you, you were gone. When I cried, you laughed. I’m not gonna go through this again.

–Nothing will make you change your decision?…

–Not this time…

…

I’m lookin’ at a blank page and all I can think of is…NOTHING!

Who would have guessed?

Don’t go!

Please stay!

Don’t do this to me!

This was the old me.

What has changed?

Well, first of all, it turned out that you can do sth even if you don’t have a clue about it.

Secondly, everyone has an impact on us…

If it wasn’t for the two of you I’d probably wouldn’t be here.

Am I glad?

Well…I have never suspected that such a thing may happen… I didn’t it even take it under consideration…but still…

THANK YOU

Strange…isn’t it?

Two girls, two stories, two beliefs…

The first said she will never fall in love, to say even more, she didn’t belive in it! She didn’t want a wedding. She never planned kids.

Now she is in a relationship. She is happy. She is in love. She knows she wants to have children with him. She wants to spend the rest of her life with him.

The second always believed in true love, she was convinced she will get marry one day, have kids, be happy.

Now she says she’s not gonna fall in love ever again. If she ever gets married, it’s gonna be without love. No kids, she doesn’t neer all the screamin’ and runnin’ around.

It’s strange how life goes… Isn’t it?…